The Cry of My Heart

Nevertheless, to praise you is the desire of man, a little piece of your creation. You stir man to take pleasure in praising you, because you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.  

-St. Augustine, Confessions 

In reading that little passage from Augustine I think that we all can feel (or at least hope that we can) the truth which is behind his statement. Even when we don't always notice it, even when our hearts don't feel God's providence and care in everything that is going on, even when things don't seem perfect, there is a little piece of us (or, hopefully, a very large piece of us) which finds pleasure, peace, and rest in praising the Lord, in worship of Him. I believe that this is most truly stated in his second sentence above, where Augustine points out that our hearts are restless until they rest in the Lord, the God who made us. This restlessness, much more commonly found in today's world than the desire for praise, points us back to the fact that our hearts are not made for the finite, but for the Infinite, and can't be happy when they are filled with things of this world.

Restlessness, I think, is something that nearly everyone in today's world can find in themselves. In the craziness of daily life, filled with meetings, deadlines, e-mails, tweets, phone calls, more meetings, facebook, instagram, and whatever else you might fill your time with, we find ourselves too busy to slow down. And yet, often, if you talk to a person in today's world, they won't describe their busy lives as fulfilling but rather as a let down, and often times even as empty. They might say that things are good and exciting, but almost always they'll be able to tell you about what they desire more: a better job, a new location, more friends, more money, or sometimes they'll just say more; we aren't even always sure what it is, but we know we desire more.

At least, I guess, I can say that this is true for me. No matter how much good is going on I am constantly seeking, striving, desiring and looking for more to do. And yet, one time after another, I find that no matter how many more obligations, responsibilities or opportunities I add they still leave me restless.

This realization of restlessness always reminds me of an argument which I believe I read in Chesterton somewhere, but it may have been C.S. Lewis or somewhere else (my memory isn't always the best); regardless, it's worth mentioning. The argument goes as follows: how often does man complain about not having enough time, or time moving slowly, or something of that sort? Do you think a fish, if it could complain, would ever complain about being in water? Of course not, we would all likely agree. If a fish is comfortable in water, it is because he was made for water; if I am uncomfortable in time here on earth, I was clearly not made for time (this argument of our not being made for time doesn't rise and fall simply on us being uncomfortable; another great example would be the experience of love, in which a person-or in this case two persons-will often complain about desiring more time with the beloved, pointing to the fact that the time we have on earth can never truly satisfy).

And thus I am reminded-I am not made for the finite, but rather I am made for eternity with the Infinite Being. Then, remembering this, I can take a step back, and instead of seeking to fill my time, I can give my time away in praise of the One who deserves my praise, and in doing so I can find fulfillment. This fulfillment, of course, will never last, since I will get bored and once again seek the temporal, but if I continue to remind myself that I was created to praise God for eternity, and let the joy in doing that give my heart its rest, then I can return to peace and to happiness.

So, the cry of my heart, as one of my favorite songs says, is to bring You praise. The cry of my heart, as Augustine said, is that the human heart, my human heart, cannot be happy until it rests in God, praising Him who brought me into being.